My collection of Geek Jokes and anecdotes

Here are some of the  Geek Jokes and anecdotes I’ve stumbled upon on my internet journey..

I hope some of them will cheer you up  or inspire you !

geek jokes and anecdotes

Geek Jokes and anecdotes

God summons the devil and jesus, and he challenges them to a programming contest. God gives them the spec and they begin. Jesus and the devil write their code furiously. As the contest reaches the end, the power suddenly goes out for a moment, both of their monitors go blank, and reboot when the power comes back on. God asks to see the two programs. The Devil says that he had a good program, but he lost it when the power was out. Jesus had no such problem, and won the contest, because Jesus saves.

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? – None, that’s a hardware problem

A wife asks her developer husband “Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk, if they have eggs, get 12.” A short time later the husband comes back with 12 cartons of milk. The wife yells at him, “Why the hell did you buy 12 cartons of milk?!” He replied, “They had eggs.“

What is the most used language in Programming? – PROFANITY

A SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, public house, Irish pub, tavern, drinks, beer, wine, liquor, Cristal, Jack Daniels . . .

Why did the Geek add   body { padding-top : 1000px; } To his Facebook Page ? Because he wanted to keep a low profile

An engineer, a manager, and a programmer are riding in a car. They come to a hill and their brakes fail. After careening down the hill and finally coming to a stop they get out to decide what to do. The manager says “We need to have a meeting to form a committee to see what we should do next!” The engineer says, “Screw that! Give me a pocket knife and some duck tape and I’ll have us going in no time!” The programmer looks at them both and says, “Lets push it back to the top and see if it does it again.”

A man walks into a pet shop containing various different types of animals, and notices that they’re very expensive. He points at a monkey, and asks the pet shop owner “This monkey costs £40,000! Why is it so expensive?” The pet shop owner replies, “Ah, that’s a special monkey, that – it can program in Java – good for enterprise programming and web stuff.” The man looks around a bit more, and notices another more expensive monkey. He asks the pet shop owner “This one costs £50,000 – what does this one do?” The pet shop owner says “That’s a C++ monkey. More advanced, low-level and faster code.” The man accepts this and looks around the pet shop a bit more. He then sees another even more expensive monkey. “Good god – this monkey costs £70,000 – what on earth does it do?” he asks. “Well, I’ve never actually seen that monkey do anything,” said the pet shop owner, “but the other monkeys call it the project manager.”

A programmer goes out with a chick. Next day he tells his friend how the date went: “It was raining, we were soaked. We went to her place where she started to undress before me… Then she threw the wet clothes on the computer”“Wow… what kind of computer?” – the other says.

An int, a char and a string walk into a bar and order some drinks. A short while later, the int and char start hitting on the waitress who gets very uncomfortable and walks away. The string walks up to the waitress and says “You’ll have to forgive them, they’re primitive types.”

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist. “I do” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.” The man below replies, “You must work in management.” “I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?” “Well“, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
Geek Jokes and anecdotes

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Nikola Petrovic
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Nikola Petrovic

Hi there. My name is Nikola,
I speak English, Greek and Serbian.
As a Web Producer i can deal with almost anything web design & development related.
As a freelancer, I charge only a small portion of the money you would pay to agencies to create your website. Affordable web design doesn’t mean that it will lack any of the advanced features of today’s web technology. We just cut out the cost of the middle man.
Feel free to request a free quote using the form on the right or the one bellow.
Nikola Petrovic
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